Pray for this Precious Family!!!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate

Looking for the Son of God

There are some religions who aside from Jesus, lift up a man, saint, or even Mary. Respectfully I agree that Mary and the saints should never be forgotten, but to worship is not what God wanted from us. I love reading stories in the Bible and learning that the people we hold to high sometimes are simply human beings just as we are. People who had doubts, fears and temptations. Although it is easy to forget this, being that they made it into the Bible. I was reading Luke today and came across this verse. Luke 2:46, After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting amongst the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Imagine with me Mary and Joseph during these three days. What must have gone through their minds as they looked for the Son of God! Walking through the streets of Jerusalem, probably running through the streets, calling out Jesus, Jesus with no answer. Mary who had found favor with God and was given the amazing honor no one else in the world will ever know to have this child, has now lost him. What must she been thinking. "I will never find favor with God again" She was probably afraid of God, what might he do to her, or afraid that the Son of God may be hurt or die before he can accomplish God's will. The fate of the world is in this child and she has lost him. Do you think Mary and Joseph were mad at each other, blaming each other? Joseph may have thought, "I knew I should have divorced her, then I wouldn't be in this mess." Maybe he thought Mary is so young, she herself is only a child why is she the mother of God. If I were Mary I might have thought, "This man is supposed to be the provider and protector of our family and he lost the Son of God!!" Verse 26 states, When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you." To which Jesus replies, "Why were you searching for me?" Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" In some versions of scripture it states, "Didn't you know I would be about my Father's business. Jesus the boy may have thought, you both know why I am here on this earth, why are you afraid, why are you upset and anxious? God has promised to use me to save the world, why would you doubt?

Have you spent time "looking for the Son of God"? Have you felt like he was gone from your midst and you anxiously search afraid of what might happen when you find him. Imagine being face to face with your maker. Imagine him taking your hands in his and Him looking into your eyes. Imagine him saying, "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I would be about my father's business." What exactly is our Father's business. God being a Father, I believe taking care of his children. Mary and Joseph were afraid, and rightly so, they were human beings, they were not perfect. We are human beings, imperfect in so many ways. We seem to search for what is right there waiting for us to sit at his feet and take him in Jesus, himself did this very thing in the Temple, while his parent's searched, he listened to the teachers and asked questions. Mary, the sister of Martha did this when Jesus was at her home speaking, she sat at his feet in awe. So many times I have thought, like Thomas, if I could only see Jesus visually, audibly hear him or feel his arms around me, it would be easier to believe. Where would faith come in or what would we have in Heaven to look forward too, if we could experience that now. Much like being married has certain things we can look forward to, so does seeing Jesus face to face. For now I see Jesus in the creation around me, I hear Jesus when the birds outside my window sing or when the waves are crashing against the shore. I feel Jesus when a cool breeze blows by or when my nieces and nephews are excited to see me and run to give me a hug. The Son of God is all around me, always doing his Father's business, Jesus help me to be like you, always about your Father's business.

Is 2009 the year? "Dare to confront what can only be imagined".

I found myself walking through Border's book store today. One of my favorite past times, getting lost in all the different worlds and imaginations. Looking at Cook books, travel books and wondering could I make that would I ever embark on that journey. At the beginning of this brand new year I'm hearing several different people begin to make New Year's Resolutions. Dieting, Exercising, Budgeting, Going back to school, Learning a new skill, or settling down. I hear the good intentions of different hearts and remember there was a time when I too would make a promise to myself. This year, like the last couple, I did not make a resolution, instead I planned on taking one day at a time as it was given to me. To many years of broken resolutions to often lead to broken hearts. New Year's are like new beginnings however,a chance to change a chance to leave the past behind and start fresh anew. I can list several things I would like to do with this new year. I however lack what I see in so many people. I see people breaking records, fulfilling dreams, living unafraid and there always seems to be one thing that pushes them, one thing that drives them to their victory. I can think of several things that would be my motivation. Jesus, my 6 nieces and nephews, my mom and yet Im afraid to set my goals to high. Afraid that 2009 will be like year's gone by, when I didn't stick with my diet, or exercise goal. When I dropped out of school or moved back home. Will this be the year I finally take guitar lessons, or finish the book I started writing in 2006. Will 2009 be the year I pull my self out of debt or lose 20 pounds. What will motivate me this year. What is it that motivates you? The quotes from the pictures shown. "Believe in yourself. You must do that which you think you cannot". by Eleanor Roosevelt and "Those that dare to venture experience the greatest rewards".

Halloweens gone by and other dress up fun!!

Mommy

This morning, I had a friend at work, and a friend from school wish me a Happy Mother's Day, I told them thank you very much, however I have not been blessed with being a mother yet, I do however have 6 nieces and nephews so I "play" mommy sometimes. I have much respect to all of you mothers out there, for I know it is a hard, but rewarding job. For those who are single mothers, my mom and sister are both single mothers and I have seen what struggles they go through, I respect and commend you for staying strong for your families. A special pat on the back to the single fathers who are playing both roles, i know these individuals are blessed with their own special strength!! I heard on the radio the other day a saying from an Unknown Author, it goes like this.

To Be A Mother Is A Blessing;
To Have A Mother Is A Treasure!!

For those of you who may be without a mother today, I pray Comfort over you.

Again, Happy Mother's Day to All!

And a special Happy Mother's Day and I love you to my mommy and grandmothers!!!

(pic courtesy of internet from Royalty Free Photography)

Cleansing, refreshing, graceful, stunning, intoxicating

“Depression blocks out anything but darkness. It’s as if someone placed a filter over the heart’s eyes that allow only the sense of defeat, loss, and the hopelessness to seep through.

A passionless life is wasted life, Christ died to renew our passion, not to remove it.

Depression cripples my ability to serve in the kingdom of God. However, when my illness is under control and I’m back climbing the ladder again, I can reach out to others and help them along. But merely existing is defeat.”

These words were written by Bonnie Keen from her book, A Ladder out of Depression.
Reading these words was like reading my diary. It seems the only one who knows what depression like, is the one who has walked the road. A road that is dark, long, winding and seems to never end and the choice to go down; is not.

I think it hurts the worse in the evening, when the sun is going down. It physically hurts, I feel as if my body is crippled and the only think I desire to do is curl up in my bed and turn off all the lights and cry. There are some with depression, who suffer a loss of appetite, when I am at my lowest food is my comfort, it becomes my drug, so it is hard to lose weight. I have so many medical problems, but it is so hard to exercise, I have nothing to fight for!

The statement made, “depression cripples my ability to serve in the kingdom of God”, is profound… I have so many passions that I would like to pursue, however I don’t know how to light the fire under me, I would love to write, I would love to take pictures, I would love to continue to teach children, but I don’t know how any more, all I know how to do is hurt, this is a day to day battle, lately it seems like I am losing more battles than winning. In the Bible it says, God will not give us more than we can handle, there are days I wonder, how much more can I handle?

As I was sitting here writing this evening, I received a phone call, my friend called me in tears telling me of the depression she has been walking through, in one instant God turned my hurting into ministry; somehow, I was able to counsel her and be her friend, even though we were hundreds of miles apart, and even though I was too hurting. When we were done speaking, my heart felt lighter and I talked to Jesus about my friend, last weekend I had Saturday off and I volunteered at my church’s garage sale for 3 hours, when I left, I felt light hearted. Why are these days so few and far between, if someone is in trouble or I have given my commitment I will follow through, other wise sleeping is a whole lot easier. What makes me sad is in order to be accountable, I try to give my commitment to Jesus, on going to small groups, or spending more time writing or studying, but then I don’t. How come I can say no to Jesus, but not to a human, maybe because I can not see him, yet!

I don’t know why I have become open, maybe because this is the only way we communicate these days, maybe because I have no one to be accountable to and am just looking for ideas as I walk through this battle, I’m not sure. What I do know, however is that depression is not a disease you can pray your way out of, Although God is the light that penetrates through darkness, for some reason he has chosen not to rescue me. Sometimes it is way to dark. It always hurts in the evening! John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.