Monday, July 7, 2014

And Many More!!


It’s the middle of summer, some are still on vacation, and some are beginning to think about school.   Water, however is still on everyone’s mind! Who cares about the form, just bring water, water, water.  We bathe, swim, splash in and drink it; when it’s 110 all we want is water.  The beginning of summer also brings about family traditions, beginning new ones and continuing old.  When I was a kid my family had 2 traditions.  The 1st was to go camping at the beach in our pop up trailer, so much fun!  My brother and I also had a tradition that included leaving Texas and coming to Arizona to visit our grandparents, we usually stayed 4-6 weeks.  This tradition lasted till I was about 10, after that we stayed home and helped with our younger siblings.  For 8 years my brother and I were my mother’s parents only grandchildren, so it goes without saying, we were very spoiled!  On Saturdays the most favorite thing to do was deliver Avon books, as my grandmother was a top notch Sales Rep. Every sat morning we would deliver to apartments walk up and down streets hanging them on doors, this was always so much fun…we loved it!!!  Actually the only thing we loved about it was getting McDonalds afterwards. Our #1 most favorite thing for to do was swim in the backyard pool, our grandpa and uncle built my grandparents house and it included a great swimming pool.  We loved it, mostly because it was free and we didn’t have to share it with other children.  We would play Marco Polo, I would pretend to be a mermaid, and we took turns jumping off the diving board all with grandpa sitting nearby with his feet in the water.  Unless our uncle or aunt swam with us, grandpa was always outside.  We didn’t see our Barkman grandparents during the summer much, not because we didn’t want to or they didn’t want us, yet they lived in Texas as we did, so it was easier to see them throughout the year.  Mainly Thanksgiving and some Christmas’
No matter what the tradition, memories are being made.  Pictures, videos, scanning, uploading everything is happening to remember what was done in summer, something to share with future.
Age does not begin to scare people until sickness occurs or we get older.  Our 20s and early 30s are filled with great adventures and many mistakes.  As life goes on we become wiser, wisdom comes in many ways.   The year 2011 brought me 2 losses, my grandma Dunham, my mother’s mom and my grandpa Barkman, my father’s dad.  I don’t like losing people.  I remember when 2 of my Great Grandparents died  I was probably about 10 when my great grandmother died, every time we went to visit she had a toy drawer full of things to keep my siblings and I busy while my parents visited.  I remember she had a prosthetic knee and she lived in a trailer, we always called her “grandma Dunham in the trailer” My great grandpa Ramsey died when I was about 13, I remember he could wiggle his ears and he had a white little poodle named Teddy, she was so cute.  It didn’t affect me much when they died, maybe because I didn’t spend much time with them, or because I was so young and I knew they were both in Heaven.  In 2001 I lost my grandpa Dunham to cancer.  He fought hard; he went through a remission and was able to go to my brother’s wedding.  When the cancer came back I don’t think he fought as hard, I believe he just wanted to see Jesus.  I have been more reflective since I lost my two grandparents in 2011.  I remember growing up how my parents would always tell me, “Life goes by so fast!”  In my 20s I would always here, “life goes by so fast”!  I never realized how much that statement is true.  Now at the age I am, I am telling my nieces and nephews, “Life goes by so fast!”  I’ve also added, enjoy every moment, learn from your mistakes and watch people so you can learn from them.  Always stay close to God, let Him guide you, He will be there when life gets tough. That advice is never  given all at once, because I know I would receive much eye rolling!
 My grandmother showed the symptoms of Dementia, before she passed away, my uncle took care of her.  One day I spent some time with them, it was like watching my uncle take care of a child, and there were times where she didn’t remember who anyone was.  One day we went to the cemetery to visit her parents and her husband, my grandpa. She put the flowers in her parents vase and began to sob, like a child crying for her daddy, my uncle held her, I too began to cry it was so sad. My grandma was a very strong woman and we always did what she asked.  To see her in this condition made me sad.  We then put flowers in her husband’s vase, my grandpas.  She had no reaction, my mother later told me she didn't think grandma remembered being married. She knew she had 4 kids, but did not remember her husband.
At Christmas this past year I did much observing, I was then talking with my cousin.  We discussed how 20 years ago, we were the children watching our parents and grandparents watching dinner being made and waiting to open presents.  Now we are the adults and parents preparing dinner and telling the children to wait, it’s almost time to open presents. In 20 more years another generation will have passed.  Time goes by so fast, treasure every moment!
Mary the mother of Jesus is a treasured woman and will be for the end of time,  Aside from carrying our Lord and savior she did something that I believe we all should do.  There were no cameras or smart phones in the day of Jesus, no way to capture memories.  Mary however treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. (Luke 2:19) Let’s all be like Mary, not every event needs to be on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.  Now there is a generation who does not know what it’s like to be walking around without a phone in their hands.  Let’s teach them to treasure moments in their hearts teach them that life indeed does go by so fast….Tomorrow, July 8, I will be 39, and many more!!









Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Letting Go!



     My niece (5) and nephew (12) love Indiana Jones, oddly enough.  My niece always refers to it as “the man in the hat movie” and indeed loves watching it in the Indy hat I purchased @ Disney land several years ago.  The 4th movie is the one they watch the most, Aunt Lauri’s edited edition of course.
     Come with me now to a scene in the movie. Indy and Miriam fall into a dry patch of sand and they start to sink. Shia Labeouf’s character, whose name is Mud, runs and finds a huge snake to give the sinking couple in order to save them.  Miriam is pulled to safety, and not knowing Indy is greatly afraid of snakes, Mud throws him the reptile in order to save him. However, before Indy will grab the snake, he asks Mud to call it a rope, questioning his reasoning Mud finally says, “Grab the rope!”   Indy must hold onto the snake to be safe. Holding on makes sense, if Indy had let go he would have sunk and died. In some situations holding on can help, save, and rescue. 


     Sometimes, however, as much as it hurts letting go is the healthier choice. If you are like me, you have taken whatever the situation or person or thing to Jesus and said, “here take it please…I can’t fight this battle anymore.”  Then for some reason walk back to the cross and tell Jesus, “I do not like what you’re doing with this, so I’m going to take it back.” I then later go to Jesus give my situations to Him, then take it back again..It becomes a vicious cycle. 


Anakin: I can't do it, Mom. I just can't do it.

Shmi Skywalker: Ani...

Anakin: Will I ever see you again?

Shmi Skywalker: What does your heart tell you?

Anakin: I hope so. Yes... I guess.

Shmi Skywalker: Then we will see each other again.

Anakin: I will come back and free you, Mom. I promise.

Shmi Skywalker: Now, be brave, and don't look back. Don't look back. 


     This is the scene from Star Wars 1 when Anakin leaves his mother to become a Jedi.  In order to grow and become strong he must let go, not knowing if he will see his mother again. What happens when you let go of a rope? You fall, you have no control of where you will land, your heart is filled with fear, the closest thing to compare to it is when you go down on a roller coaster ride, and your heart is all the sudden in your belly and you’re asking yourself, what the heck did I get on this ride for? No control. You can’t control your life if you let go of it, However Hebrews 10:23 states, Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised IS faithful! Sometimes in order to fulfill God’s will, you have to let go of the past and sometimes even the present.

     As she held her grandpa’s hand, she remembered the boat rides her and her brother shared with him.   She remembered riding on the golf cart around the acreage on his lot, she remembered the donuts…the smell of his shop when the family visited, Frank’s Donut House, “the place with taste”. Those buttermilk donuts were the best with butter dripping off…Now she was in his hospital room watching her grandpa fall in and out of consciousness, with that stupid brace around his neck…He was in so much pain, why didn’t he just go home to Jesus.   Then  while still holding his hand, she stroked his hair and said, “Why won’t you go home, you are worried about grandma aren’t you?”  “Grandpa you need to trust your family, we will take care of her, and we will still love her…I promise, grandpa you have to let go”…within 24 hours he had gone home…
     What I am sharing is a glimpse of what happened when I went to say goodbye to my Grandpa Barkman. 

     Matthew Perry had a show on TV titled Go On, the premise is Matthew’s character is a man who just lost his wife in a car accident and now must figure out how to go through life without her.  He joins a support group where he finds others as messed up as he is.  In one episode he and another group member realize they need to physically release a symbol of what they are clinging to in order to further heal.  Together they tie their wedding rings to balloons and they release them, lying down on the ground they watch their past lives fly away and begin to move on.

     This past July I had a Letting Go Birthday Party.  Some friends and I went to a park wrote down what we needed to let go of, tied it to a balloon, then let go…It was very healing.  We as humans go through trials, sometimes in the midst of these events we need to heal and even let go. We also  have to remind ourselves to not go to the cross and take these issues back from Him, but remember, He is God and He knows what He is doing…I have to let go of my rope…In this case I  let go of a balloon.  


     Sometimes, however, I can also see God holding the top of a rope, as if I were hanging on the end of a cliff.  I can hear Him say, and He is  screaming ; Lauri, Let Go…You Have To Trust Me.  So Here I am…Letting Go!  As we Let Go of 2013 and begin 2014 I invite you, on your own or with some friends to let go of last year, mistakes, regrets, emotions, whatever you are clinging on to…Let go and embrace this new year! 


 His mercies are new every morning and every New Year!!  It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23.