The Wave!!

I’ve been going to Cornerstone for almost 3 years now and anything discussed in service never surprises me anymore. Today we spoke about the question: How Important Is the Story of Jesus? What a crazy thing to ask, right? Well only if you know Jesus, do you know that this story is pretty important. Sadly there are so many people who don’t understand that question; Pastor Linn talked about how God strategically puts people in our life so that we may be a light to them. A City on a Hill as Jesus said in the Bible. (Matt 5:14-15) As Linn was talking about being a light, two songs came to mind, both I sang as a child, 1. Give me Oil in my Lamp, Keep me Burnin, Give me Oil in my Lamp I pray, Halleluiah. And the 2nd was This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!! After the sermon we wrote names of people we felt God had put in our lives to be a light to, prayed over them, then gave them to God by putting them in baskets at the front of the sanctuary. We are to pray for these people for 30 days, then invite them to the Harvest Festival @ Church as well as a service one Sunday.
On the way home I began to think, of the sermon and of my chosen people. I began to fear. Honestly I hate witnessing, not because I am ashamed of Jesus, but because I have always been afraid I would misrepresent him with my words. There are so many people who are Biblically and Religiously intelligent that if I were to speak of the word of God, they would probably out speak me. As I grew up, I heard about how being a witness for God meant living like Jesus, speaking with your life and not with your words. I was a little relieved, now I don’t have to talk, I can just walk…who knew walking the walk could be so hard. In fact one of the people whose name I put on my list called me out once, we were talking about a mutual friend, and he told me “Is the way you’re talking the way a ‘Christian’ talks, should you be saying these things. Guilt washed over me and I apologized, but my friend had already seen this particular sin in me and he doesn’t understand that people mess up, he just understands if you claim to be a Christian, you must be perfect!
Do you remember the 1st ever Christians, In Acts 2 it describes how they waited and prayed for the Holy Spirit and when they received it, they spoke in different tongues and acted so crazy people thought them to be drunk. In Acts 1:8, Luke reminds us that Jesus says, You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” This statement was not only meant for them but for us. First of all I don’t remember the last time I was at a service where people spoke in tongues, is that something we still believe in? Is this the type of Holy Spirit Fill we need before we are ready to go to the ends of the earth? Why do we not every day meet together in prayer, why have we changed, these people were serving God and being killed for it, would You Do That? I know I am not the only person intimidated by speaking the gospel, I want to know what has happened to us as Christians. In Acts 2:42 It states and is in regards to The Fellowship of Believers: They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
Pastor Linn used a clip in church today, it was from the movie The Day After Tomorrow. (here is the clip shown in church..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJn261UAdaA&feature=related)…however this clip is also a good example (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQDSAiPiEDU)In the first clip a huge Wave is being washed over New York city and a young man runs toward the wave to save his loved one, Pastor Linn asked us, if we would run toward the Wave of the enemy to save those around us, maybe not even a loved one, but anyone if you knew they would spend eternity in Hell, would you get them to higher ground, Would you be the lamp burnin in the window, the City on a Hill? I pray my fear subsides and God would be victorious and glorified as I pray for my friends!

TIME!!!

I remember being a little girl living in Texas. Every summer up until the age of about 10 my brother and I would come to Arizona and visit my grandparents, aunts and uncles for about a month. Every Saturday my grandmother would wake us up super early and we would help her deliver Avon books. We then would go to McDonald's for breakfast! My grandmother was very independent and was a top Avon rep, winning many awards. She was very religious and strong, we always went to church and you never double crossed grandma, unless you were ready for your life to come to an end!!! My grandmother has been recently diagnosed with Dementia, my uncle is taking care of her. I spent some time with them today and it was like watching him take care of a child, there are times where she doesn't remember who anyone is. Today we went to the cemetery to visit her parents and her husband, my grandpa. She put the flowers in her parents vase and she began to sob, like a child, crying for her daddy..my uncle held her, I too began to cry, it was so sad. We then put flowers in her husbands vase and she had no reaction, my mother later told me she didn't think grandmother remembered being married. She knows she has 4 kids, but does not remember her husband. Time goes by so quickly..treasure every moment, with every person God gives you!!

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep!!

So many times I go to bed afraid, or I lay in bed with fear in my heart, This body God has given me is his, He has asked me to take care of it, of his Temple and yet things happen to this "Temple" that I can not control. Why would He let this happen to me, to others, I wonder. The body decays and gets old daily, but why are some robbed of such wonderful things. While I'm seizing I want nothing more, than for him to scoop me up, hold me and whisper into my ear..."Daddy's here"...yet all I hear is myself screaming. Tonight I read Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba Father"!
Abba Father, I cry to you, hold me tight...as I sleep help me be still and know you are God, and although I may not feel you physically, I pray your presence would fill my room! Thank you Jesus!

Stories from my childhood (written at age 8)

Tiny Elves....
I was walking though the woods one day and saw two tiny elves playing by a tree. They didn't see me, so I hid behind a tree and then I said hello and played with them. And then I went home!

I hear you Frogs!
My frogs name is Figgy. My frog is a girl. I hope she is going to win tomorrow. My frog is pretty. My frog jumped 67 1/2 cnm yesterday.

The Dirty bottle
One day I found a dirty old bottle in a trash can. I took the bottle to my garage and tried to rub off some of the dirt. You'll never believe what happened. A genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. I wished for a cat, a pony and some skates.

What are you afaid of? Why am I afraid?

Well I was about to write a blog about feeling trapped in my own home, but now the subject has changed. Today at church I was reminded how Satan wants us dead, so we won’t go out and spread God’s word. I wondered, how was I supposed to spread the word of God since I can’t drive anywhere, or work..since I'm in bed a lot due to illness. How can I be that warrior for God..Then He reminded me how a beautiful little blond girl spread His fame by sharing about her illness online, and how He was with her family and is with her family every day in the valley and on the mountain top. He reminded me that because of this several people became His children. God also reminded me that another starting point would be becoming friends with my neighbors, assisting them and living like Jesus in front of them. Why does this thought scare me to death? I am not ashamed of my Jesus, if any of them asked me; I would tell them what I believe. Why have I become accustomed to staying here in my small apartment alone? If Jesus lived here, I'm pretty sure, he would not stay inside all day, watching TV or sleeping. Were any of the disciples scared? They were before they were filled with the Holy Spirit. I need a renewing of the Holy Spirit. Why does that scare me as well? Why is there so much fear in my life? What am I afraid of…I'm afraid of meeting new people, I'm afraid of being rejected,I'm afraid I won't stop gaining weight, no matter how hard I try to beat it. I'm afraid of seizures..I know of two people who have died while having a seizure in their sleep, will that happen to me? I'm afraid I will never pay off my debt. I'm afraid of being alone, which is ironically weird because if I would only not be afraid of meeting people then I wouldn’t be alone. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind and yet my mind is not sound. Forgive my heart Lord, Forgive my unbelief, Forgive my doubt. Holy Spirit rekindle the fire in me..I want to wake up excited to share your news..I want my neighbors to be annoyed with me because I can’t shut up…I want to be like you!

My Beloved Child!

My Beloved Child,

Singleness is a blessing and not a curse. As your father, I am longing to show you my heart and watch while you grow in me. Just for us to be together.

I have called you away from home, the past, and even your family. You see, I want to develop our relationship. I want so badly to show you my love and let you get caught up in my presence. I wish you could wake up rejoicing in each new day that I give you and just wonder what adventure I have planned for today. You and I have the whole world as our playground.

But the one thing I wish most of all, is that you cherish these moments alone with me as much as I cherish them. Because you see, I know one day I will have to release part of you to another man. Yes, this man will be the one I choose and set apart for you, because I want tgo bless you. Yes, marriage is wonderful, and it is a gift from me, but so is singleness. Singleness is a time of seperation, but also a time of learning to be strengthened and fulfilled only in me. I have longed for these days when we would be alone together, and i could teach you the meaning of true love and intimacy.

First I want you to be fulfilled in me alone and see me as the one to meet your every need. I love you too much to give you a blessing too early because I know, it would then become a curse, yes, your husband is out there, and it won't be long before I bring the promises to pass, but I want us to delight in every minute I made for us. You see, I know the day is coming when I will have to face the hurt of every father, when He walks the woman that he still recalls as a helpless little girl, down the long church aisle to give away the hand that grew so quickly from a child to the woman now by his side.

As father and daughter begin hand in hand down the aisle, they will always treasure those last special moments before the father gives away his little girl's hand to come the wife of another man. that is the road we are on and OH! I cling to every last moment that I have you completely by my side.

I am that father, and I see the alther approaching ever so quickly. I just wish these moments were special to you. My heart is grieved, for it seems you are running toward the alter, content to let me creep slowly on behind. Won't you rejoice in these moments w/ me? My child, I am your father, and I love you with a love beyound what you can believe. I would love to have you here in my lap forever, but I know that would not be best for you. You see, it was my love that birthed this desire for marriage in you. I loved you so much, that I wanted to give an example of my love in the flesh. Someone who would physically be there to hug you, because you longed to feel my loving arms that wern't there in the flesh. I wiped away the tears when you wanted so badly to audibly hear my voice whisper, "Ilove you." I felt the pain when you needed a loving smile to melt all those fears away.

I am the answer to every one of these needs, but my love is strong enough to send you someone in the flesh to love you through. So don't be sad or discouraged when you see others getting married. Don't think I am making you wait because you are a hopeless cause. Maybe I just want you all to myself a little longer. Please don't run away from these days in search of greener pasture. I planned this time just for us.

I love you....Your Father, God

Kathryn & Legacy * Viennese Waltz - Your Guardian Angel

Is God To Blame!?

Do you ever wonder why things happen? I mean why did God choose me to go through certain valleys and others to go through completely different valleys? Is it ever ok to be mad at God?Why does he allow pain and sorrow? These questions are basic questions that have been asked and answered so many times. I wonder what goes through the mind of God when he sets a plan in action. He sees the future right, so why does he want to see me cry, why cant a lesson be learned with a joyful heart instead of a hurting heart, or a fearful heart. Why are certain people brought to life then stolen away. When things are dark...Is God to Blame, or Is God to Thank?