1975 WOW! What a Crazy Year!!

                      1975 Wow!! What a crazy year!!   

Just a disclaimer…obviously this is AI…IMO the only one that looks close to me is the 3rd one & even that one makes my face look to fat!!  

Just to catch you up some of the highlights of that year were…

10.  Gerald Ford was President
  9.  The Vietnam war ended April 30
  8.  Also in April Bill gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft in Gates’ garage
  7.  The Price of gas was $.53
  6.  Most popular toy was the pet rock! (I never understood this invention) 😊
  5.  The most popular fast food chain was Taco Bell 
  4.  On Oct.11, 1975 the very first episode of SNL aired
  3.  The Price of a movie ticket was $2.03 
  2.  The #1 Blockbuster movie of the summer was Jaws!!

  1.  And the #1 highlight of 1975 (at least according to my family) on July 8, I was born!

I still can’t believe it?  Have you reached an age yet where you say,  “yes I am this age, but I just don’t feel like it!”  I have been saying that for about a decade and a half.  Of course there are days where my body aches, but I remember being a kid and thinking “50, that’s the age of my grandparents”.  Then it became the age of my parents, then my brother, now me!! 
I sit back and dwell on my life and think, what have I done, what am I doing and what is left to be done, every moment I am alive God has me on this planet for a reason, the mission is easy, in Mark 16:15 it tells us, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone”.

From the time I was very little I wanted to be a mom, I wanted to have lots of kids!  One of my friends from high school got married right after graduating High School, she now has 8 children and 7 grandchildren. She let her hair go all natural gray and even though we are the same age, she does not look like it, she is so beautiful, even all those kids later.  I would have loved to have a big family of my own, that was my greatest desire, why did God not grant me this?  I was always very glad I had siblings growing up and still now, sometimes I feel sorry for people who are only children, I often wonder if they get lonely having no one to blame their problems on, no one to fight with or no one to have adventures with.  

I also wanted to be many things when I grew up for example, a teacher, my Aunt Karen was a teacher and always made it seem fun.  I also had two teachers that to this day have made a lasting impact on my life.  My 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Henry and my 5th grade teacher Miss Scott.  Then in high school they’re were 2 coaches who were very popular and loved everyone, even if you weren’t very popular :). Shout out to Coach and Mrs. McCray!  

My life was interrupted in a dramatic way @ age 15 when I was diagnosed with Epilepsy.  For many years I was able to control my seizures with medicine and could work and drive.  In 2010 however my life took a terrible turn, I had a seizure while driving, it was very scary.  I felt it coming and screamed out the name of Jesus, the next thing I remember was hearing a horn honking at me.  I had passed out and was veering into another lane.  So I woke up and was able pull into the median, thankfully at that time there was no cement wall built like there is now, it was just grass.  About 2 weeks later I had quit my job and started collecting  Disability, which I still do today.  Unfortunately in the last 15 years, the Drs still haven’t been able to get the seizures under control. 

In 2011 my grandpa Barkman died, while at the funeral reception a member of his church whom I had never met until that day asked me if I was Fran’s niece. Fran was my grandpa’s oldest daughter, I told her yes, she then told me, she felt like God wanted her to tell me that people needed to hear my story. I asked her what story? At this time I was 36 and still young enough not to know what God could possibly want me to tell.  I then told her that I have Epilepsy could that be it? She said maybe, she didn’t know the story, she just wanted me to know, it needed to be told.   Later that year I started writing and I can say now that I’m about half way through my auto biography.  I understand now what people mean when they a certain thing they have been writing has been “so many years” in the making, it’s hard.

Now that I am 50 and have learned so much more and I understand the Bible verse Proverbs 16:9 “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”  I would have loved to marry in my 20s and start a family young.  I would have loved to have been a teacher.  I could’ve spent so many years being bitter at God, being angry and questioning or saying it’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair! However, growing up as a kid my mom used to ground us when we would say that, so I’ve learned never to use those three words,  ha ha.

    If it were up to me, my life would’ve been so different, but I also learned through these 50 years believe it or not my life is not about me. This life is a gift that God gave and he also gave the gift of salvation.  Our lives are about him, go into all the nations and make disciples. That’s what we are to do and we all have different ways of doing that. Some are musicians, pastors, some are teachers, encouragers, some are writers, parents, and still so many different talents. . I believe I have fit into some of those categories over the years. I have found that I have been an encourager, a writer and of course a teacher. God has given me the gift of teaching through Sunday school. I never became a full-time elementary school teacher, but I teach Sunday school every single week at my church two services in a row, four-year-olds! When I come home, I’m exhausted! God gave me the taste of motherhood by giving me two younger siblings And a total of nine nieces and nephews which I am eternally grateful for! I love being an aunt! 

I’m not afraid of getting older, and I’m not afraid of dying, because whenever God chooses to take me home, I know I will be in heaven. And I will be in heaven with my friends and family who have gone before me. If you are scared of dying or are not sure where you will spend eternity you need to talk to God! You need to have a relationship with him. There is no time like the present putting it off is not OK. Tomorrow is not promised and time flies here I am at 50,wow!!   If you have been to Church in the past but you haven’t been lately it’s time to go back! You can’t just pick and choose which Bible verses you want to apply to your life. You need to live by them all and be able to come to a point in life where you can say to yourself I am not afraid of dying! Hell is a real place, and forever is indeed forever, I would like everyone who reads this to one day join me in Heaven!! 

Here’s to another 50! Happy birthday to me.

#birthday #50 #writer #blogs #halfacentury #wow #teacher #God #salvation

Sorrows at Christmas

 

     January 1, 2020 we had no idea what this year would bring, no idea! A year that will go down in history, unfortunately for unpleasant reasons. Coronavirus aka Covid hit hard and thousands died deaths unimaginable and all died with no family by their side because catching this disease is far to easy.  A nation shut down, people out of work, quarantine another historical event.  Through this we are able to see doctors and nurses in a brand new light, they became hero’s.  They showed us what it was like to work on the front lines, standing in when family members could not. 

     May brought Peaceful Protests which are not bad until they turn into riots and buildings and towns burn. When people are afraid to leave their homes and curfews have to be put into place, a different type of fear sets in.

     Then we have Nov 8, Election Day, which I won’t elaborate on or share my opinion at this point because that doesn’t matter.  This year has proven that we Americans can be loving and helpful to each other in one way and so hateful in others. From what I have seen however Americans are only cruel to each other when it comes to politics.  When it comes to natural disasters or pandemics we seem to have each other’s back! 

    #somegoodnews was a YouTube show started by John Krasinski where all he reported was good news, there was even a virtual prom and graduation held for the class of 2020.  #americastrong is broadcast at the end of World News tonight which 95% of the time a story of encouragement and hope is always broadcast. When people needed food, food banks opened up and when they went dry it didn’t seem like it was for very long, because if people could give they would. My church Generation Church in Mesa and Ahwatukee has been able to feed many to those in need. So proud of everyone who could/can help and did.

    Now we are in the holiday season, holiday depression, ever had that?  It usually hits me on Christmas Day evening.  All the anticipation is over the presents are unwrapped, the food has been eaten.  I remember as a kid, my siblings and I would watch our taped Christmas video that our parents had recorded that morning so we could live it all over again.  Holiday Depression is normal and very common.  From the very  beginning of October through the end of December we have so many holidays and we are so geared up for Christmas and it seems just like in the twinkling of an eye and its over.  Sorrow is hard no matter what, but especially at Christmas  and especially this year.

    Covid has hit my family.  I know other  people who have had it, and thankfully survived. I know someone who knows someone who died from it. However now it has hit my family and because of this I will not be able to share Christmas with all of my family.  There is one difference between my situation and that of others.  I will get to see my family again, because thank God my family members symptoms have not become so bad that they have entered the hospital, only quarantine.  So although we will not be sharing December 24 and 25 together, Christmas will still come, Santa will still come to the Barkman household.

    Other families are not so lucky they have lost family members and friends that otherwise wouldn’t have died if Covid hadn’t taken them.  I may not get to see my family on Christmas Day, but I will still get to see them again. I may be sad about missing them, I still have to keep reminding myself about that good news, they get to come home.

     In the Bible, Mark 14, the disciples thought that the angry sea separated them from Jesus.  In fact, some of them thought something even worse, they thought that the trouble they were facing was a sign that He had forgotten them and did not care about them.  O dear friend that is when your troubles can cause the most harm.  The Devil comes and whispers to you, "God has forgotten you" or "God has forsaken you” and your unbelieving heart cries out, as Gideon once did, "If the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?"  (Judg. 6:13) God has allowed the difficulty to come upon you, in order to bring you closer to Himself.  It has come Not to separate you from Jesus but to cause you to cling to Him more faithfully, more firmly, and more simply. Written by F.S. Weber

 

    I hope God has brought you comfort through these words and remember the 1^st Christmas gift ever given was a sweet baby, Jesus our Savior, who came to save the world from their sins.  A Savior who to this day reaches down to save and comfort those who are walking through Valleys of Shadows and death to light our way. May you never forget that Jesus has not left you but is clinging to you more than ever before…continue to cling to Him…never lose hope…remember hope means,  Hold On Pain Ends…Merry Christmas 

To Brother Davey on your 🤬 insert 😳 age 🤯 here 😭 Birthday 🥳🎂

   Its funny how whenever you were growing up, you never knew how young your parents were until you become their age! My brother is turning a milestone age on Jan 27th.  I really can’t give him a hard time about it either, because in 18 months I too will be turning that age! My parents used to tell us how life passes by so fast, I remember rolling my eyes and thinking, really because the days sure drag on when Im sitting in school! However as an adult I see now how true that statement is!! It’s funny because I may not be in my twenties any more, but my soul is, despite my physical age and how my body seems to be breaking down I feel so young on the inside!!

Dear Davey,

I remember mom and dad telling us that when they brought me home from the hospital you kept asking, “is this nother David?” 

Think back to every summer how you and I would travel to grandma and grandpa Dunham’s house and swim the majority of the time with grandpa sitting and watching.  I believe he was the 1st “watch your kids around water” spokesman dude!  Then every Saturday grandma had us placing Avon books on peoples doors, with a great pancake breakfast at McDonalds after!! 

Recall every Christmas eve when we would go outside and look for the Christmas star!! Which we now know was always the Northern Star!! 

Remember being the oldest grandchild when we would visit Grandma and Grandpa

Barkmanand grandpa would only let you drive the golf cart!! Being oldest has some advantages! 

 When Star Wars, the 1st trilogy, was all the rage and we received several toys for Christmas how we would put them together and play most of the movies!!  I truly believe we will always be Star Wars buddies!  In fact when we are in our 80s and they come out with Star Wars 20 (as well as making side Star Wars movies that jumps into the heart and soul of each character) lets make sure to have our great grandchildren wheel us down to the theatre ok!! 

As much fun as life was with just the two of us, I remember how excited we were when we were told we were getting a baby sister!!

Then 4 years later how excited we were again when we were getting a baby brother...you were so excited to balance everything out, now there were 2 girls and 2 boys!!  You were so excited when we found out the baby would be born in January and you said I hope its the 27th!! Shortly after we found out Aaron was born Jan 26 and you two have shared birthday parties ever since!! 

I remember your wedding day when your new daughter Katelyn kept saying “this is our wedding” (she was 2). 

Then Kenna, Ryan and all of Elise’s babies  

Now you have a 21 year old and if she chose to, she could make you a grandpa (that is of a human baby, not a puppy or kitty)...WHAT!   

We have been through so much Davey...and here is to many many more years of fun!! So who cares how old you are right? Life is an adventure, and like our parents before us...we are so young!!!  

P.S. I had really cute pictures on here, but they wouldn’t publish for some reason...sorry!  

My story

     I’m in my bed peacefully sleeping, I suddenly awake unable to breathe.  Sitting up I’m violently choking, my head  twitching out of control, I reach for my covers.  That evenings news story plays over again in my head, about a man who escaped from the prison only 30 miles from our home. I am horrified; I just know the prisoner is in my room strangling me. Finally I stop, I just stop, I can breathe and my body is no longer twitching. The entire incident went on for 1 minute or less, yet I felt like I was in captivity for hours. I look around, no one is in my room, I am all alone. Afraid, I lie back down; I am exhausted and lay awake no longer than a minute.
I have Epilepsy.  My body seizes, and loses control. This has been a thorn in my side for almost 30 years. Medication has kept me secure and safe for a majority of that time.  In 2009, however, my life began to change.
 August of 2008 until November of 2009 I worked with a company that required me to drive the majority of the time and I was driving children.  I was doing social work, and was transporting children from their foster homes to family visits. One morning on the way to work a seizure broke through.  I knew it was about to happen, I was overcome with fear and I remember screaming for Jesus.  I screamed “Jesus help me, I’m sorry, please help me.” Next I hear a horn honking, I awaken and pulled my vehicle into the median strip.  I’m not sure if someone saw that I was passed out or if I almost hit someone, but I was honked at, and am so grateful for that person. Sitting on the middle of the freeway, I wasn’t sure if I should continue to work, or head back home, I continued on to work. I worked for the next 7 days with no incident.  Deep in my heart I knew the right thing to do was to let go of my job.  I feared that if I had a seizure while driving and a child was with me, I would never be
 able to forgive myself if something happened to them or anyone else.  So I said goodbye.  The next 6 months began a strenuous course of applying for disability and going to my neurologist, trying to find out why the break through seizure had occurred and how to stop another one

What you just read is only a portion of chapter one of a book I have been writing for several years about my life with seizures.  Keep me in your prayers as I strive to finish soon and very soon...

Writing can be a writers worst nightmare!!

The title sounds strange for a writer doesn't it! 🙂 However I haven't written on this blog for over a year. I'm not sure why.  The past 5 years I have been writing my autobiography on living a life with Epilepsy. Yes, five years. I never understood why people always stated that a book, play, or movie took so long to create. Now I understand, life happens. Someone or something doesn't want me to finish my book.  In the past five years I have had two surgeries to try to fix tendinitis in my right wrist and have had many many hours of physical therapy. There indeed are times when a writer doesn't have much to say. This is just like a singer who has nothing ro sing, or a teacher who has nothing to teach, this could lead to a career end. Sometimes there is just no motivation, I'm not sure why I am not motivated, sharing my story and what I am walking through I know would help others. Focus is hard for me, I find myself distracted easily. For example, this year I have been bird watching. There are two different sites where you can watch eagles 🦅 lay there eggs then watch the babies hatch and grow. One site is https://hdontap.com/index.php/video/stream/pa-bald-eagle-ir-cam

the other is http://www.dickpritchettrealestate.com/eagle-feed.html#
the second site the baby is already perching with mom and dad and is almost ready to leave the nest. Then of course there is also the most famous Giraffe in all the land, miss April! I have also given up evening television 📺 so I could focus more. I was so serious about it, I gave it up for Lent . I have added more to my book so I'm happy about that, just frustrated.  I guess I needed to do some journaling and decided to do it here. The next time I write I hope it's to say I have finished my book!! 📚😉

Pray for...why?

In our world and unfortunately in America alone we have seen quite a bit of devastation.  When these events happen, it is amazing to see people rally around each other, even those we have never met; and we pray for each other.  People pray, even if they don’t attend church every week, even if they are skeptic about God. 

  Paris, Mila, Russia (the plane) and now San Bernardino have all been attacked.  America has been going through political crap that after watching makes you (me anyways) feeling like America is well, depressing. Not only that but it feels like the United States, for some reason has gone back to the 60s where there are issues on race, and riots are taking place.  I think maybe the worst of all…Starbucks cups are red only!!

It’s good to see people have not lost faith.  However for those who have, or for those who believe God is mean and vengeful, and causing these things to happen, need to take that step of faith and ask him to protect you, your family, our country, our allies, and see what happens.  See what happens when you believe. If you are angry at God than tell Him, scream at Him, If you are sad, cry.  He already knows whats in our hearts, but tell Him anyways.  He gave you those emotions so use them.  The number one thing in any relationship is communication, talk to God!!

 We are approaching Christmas, a season of believing.  Watch your children, or children around you, as they believe in Santa, no matter what others may say to them, they believe with all their hearts he is coming, because he knows when they’ve been sleeping, he knows when their awake.  The same is true with our God, He knows when you are sleeping and when you are awake, we all need to have a child like faith.

If God is all powerful, why does he allow these things to happen?  Why can’t He stop these people, why is there cancer, why are there natural disasters?  These are questions I cannot answer, I believe no one can, that’s where faith comes in.  If we pray for those who lost their lives in each one of these attacks, we should then pray that God would stop these attacks.  He has created people who are trained to help us; I give credit to the first responders who were at the San Bernardino attacks in just 7 minutes.  Our country is on high alert and the military and first responders are becoming equipped to fight back like never before.

In a book by Marie Chapian, one of the devotionals is called, I Know You’ve Been Hurt, it states, “ You will never be happy until you free yourself from the fear of being hurt, to having full confidence in the wisdom I (God) freely  give you.  I will protect you and watch over you all the days of your life.” When tragedies happen, it does not mean God has broken His promise, it simply means, you must pray and search His heart, while He comforts yours.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”   2 Chronicles 7:14.  Some may find this verse offensive, thinking because someone has sinned, God is attacking us on purpose, well I have sinned, because I am a human being, so I pray God would forgive me and hear my prayers!!

For those who have lost a loved one, in any type of tragedy, I pray God brings you comfort!  I also pray this season we will all be Thankful for what we have and all be able to sleep in heavenly Peace!

40 never looked so young!!!

1970s

• The city of Saigon is surrendered and remaining Americans are evacuated, ending the Vietnam War(April 30). 
• President Ford escapes second assassination attempt in 17 days (Sept. 22).
• ABC, CBS and NBC agree to create a "family hour," an early evening time slot that is free of violence and sex.
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Jaws, Nashville, Dog Day Afternoon, Barry Lyndon
• Home videotape systems (VCRs) are developed in Japan by Sony (Betamax) and Matsushita (VHS).
• The Altair home computer kit allows consumers to build and program their own personal computers. 
• July 8; Lauri Barkman is born, joining  big brother David...
  
  
  

  

  Like the nurses uniforms!

1980s

• Terrorists seize Egyptian Boeing 737 airliner after takeoff from Athens (Nov. 23); 59 dead as Egyptian forces storm plane on Malta (Nov. 24).
• Ronald Reagan, 73, takes oath for second term as 40th President (Jan. 20).
• Rock Hudson dies of AIDS at age 59. He's the first major star to fall victim to the disease.
• Madonna launches her first road show, the Virgin Tour.
• In 1983 I received a baby sister...Elise 
• I remember in 1986 when as a class we watched the first teacher board the Space Shuttle and watched live the tragedy of the explosion.
• I lived in Texas @ the time and I remember being in class and listening and watching the news  in 87 when Baby Jessica fell down a well, as people prayed and listened to her as she sang Winnie the Pooh.          July 8 1985...I turned 10 
• 
• In 1988 I received a baby brother, Aaron!

     1990s

• Russian space station Mir greets first Americans (March 14). US shuttle docks with station (June 27).
• Israelis and Palestinians agree on transferring West Bank to Arabs (Sept. 24). Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabinslain by Jewish extremist at peace rally (Nov. 4).
• Criminal trial of O. J. Simpson opens in California (Jan. 24).
• Scores killed as terrorist's car bomb blows up block-long Oklahoma City federal building (April 19); Timothy McVeigh, 27, arrested as suspect (April 21); authorities seek second suspect, link right-wing paramilitary groups to bombing (April 22).
• 1990 I was Diagnosed with Epilepsy, my family moved from a small town in Texas to a City in Arizona, my parents divorced.  
• 1993 I graduate High School
•    July 8, 1995...I turned 20
  

The 2000s

• Worldwide aid pours in to help the eleven Asian countries devastated by the Dec. 26, 2004, tsunami (Jan.). See Tsunami Factfile. 
• Pope John Paul II Dies (April 2). Benedict XVI becomes the next pope (April 24).
• George W. Bush is officially sworn in for his second term as president (Jan. 20). 
• The Sept. 11 Public Discourse Project reports that the country is still "alarmingly vulnerable to terrorist strikes." (Dec. 5). 
• My Epilepsy has been under control, suffering for the most part from side effects. I have worked in child care for 10 years, and am a big part of my younger siblings life, I lost my grandpa to cancer.
• July 8, 2005 I turned 30
  
• In the last 10 years Ive lost 2 more grandparents. I have moved to California to be a Nanny, only moved back when the family moved away from Cali.  I have published a children's book.  I was forced to quit my job in social work, because my seizures broke through and began happening more often forcing me to stop driving and stop working.  The World and America and my life have changed quite a bit in the last 10 years.  A Horrible thing happened June 19, 2015 in Charleston  South Carolina where 9 people lost their lives to an act of racism where the confederate flag played a huge role. This horrible act has many people bringing down confederate flags everywhere, and even having my all time favorite show Dukes of Hazzard from being seen in reruns because of the iconic General Lee.  I have strong belief that if this event had not taken place; these flags would still be flying as well as the General Lee, which flew quite a bit in DoH. Now as Confederate flags come down rainbow flags go up and the LGBT celebrates the fact that they are now able to marry each other....My how the world has changed in 40 years.  I remember when my parents turned 40, they were so old.  I am grateful that I am poor, that way I will not go have some kind of weird mid life crisis that I will regret for years.  I am also grateful no matter how hard life has been, it has not gone my way, my way would have been harder indeed.  If it were up to me, I would have been married, had 4 kids and been a teacher.  Life is not that easy.  Life goes by so fast!  When you get to the age you have been dreading, you then realize just how young you are.  I'm so excited to see where God leads me these next 40+.  July 8, 2015 I turn...39+1
  

All info came from http://www.infoplease.com/yearbyyear.html