sleeping in heavenly peace

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
I Pray The Lord, My Soul To Keep
If I Die Before I Wake,
I Pray The Lord, My Soul To Take!!

Silent Battles

In my mind, dark specters
attempt to conquer me.
Subconscious wars I've waged
against these enemies.
At times I fight the battles
and think that I can win.
Other days, the darkness
just tells me to give in.

It's like I'm in a dream...
running in slow motion,
or floundering amidst
a deep and stormy ocean...
I reach out for a life raft,
but feel the anchor's weight.
If I don't release it,
drowning is my fate.

I'm trying to call out,
but cannot form the words.
Then screams become an echo
and only go unheard.
Trapped by walls of silence,
I issue my last plea-
"Oh, dear God in heaven,
please come and set me free."
Author Unknown

day to day

although we may have days of victory...the battle is still very real!
Keep fighting, keep running, keep praying, keep dancing into your Father's Arms

The Darkness Of Depression...Is There A Lighter Side....YES!!!

I have some very awesome friends who have been walking with me, as I have been walking through depression. Every time I see one of these awesome people, they always check in with me, and my response is, Im ok...which is true, Ive never been 100%, and this bothers me that i can never give good news. Well I have a friend who has also been walking through this with me and every time he sees me asks, 'so,How are you today?', because he knows this is an everyday battle. I want to tell you that since Sunday, I have experienced some new things and feelings that I have not been through in years..and they are good! I have been set free from a burden, and have gone through some healing and then today, I have been going and going and cant stop...I didnt even take a nap!! Which is a huge Milestone!!. I have energy and motivation and i dont know where its coming from but im grateful...I think about the things that I still am dealing with and I cant even worry, if that makes since, Im just living life and it is an awesome feeling, Ive never been so free!! God is answering my prayers and becoming very real to me! I wanted to share this with all of you and thank all of those who walk beside me and pray for me, through everything...yall are awesome!! If you know someone walking through depression...never leave their side...because their is a Lighter side, and I can see it from here!! Thank you God!!


The song that keeps going through my head is Chris Tomlin's....I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to Sing!!! The Song is Titled- (How Can I Keep from Singing Your Praise)

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5.....also Psalm 66:1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Also read.. the whole chapter of Psalm 20.

Daddy...why?

Daddy, why is the sand brown
"To match your baby brother's skin"
Daddy, why are roses red?
"To match your momma's lips"
Daddy, why are the clouds white?
"To match grandpa's hair"
Daddy, why is the ocean blue?
"To match the color of your eyes"
Daddy, What is God's favorite color?
Baby, His favorite color is the...
Rainbow!!

Tell Me Love

Tell Me Love, Tell Me What You Are Feeling;
For I am Here to Grant you Perfect Healing,
For You Will See,
I Want You to be Free!!

Is this...

Alone, Unsure, Sad, Scared Insecure, Unwanted, Forgotten,
Beautiful, Valued, Treasured, Protected, Safe, Loved, Forgiven!!

Should There be Justice for Bandit?!

I'm here to voice my comments about Bandit...For those of you who don't live here in AZ, Bandit is a K9 officer who was left in is handler's car for 12 hours and died. There is now a huge debate around the state asking if this officer should be held responsible for Bandit's death. Ive been reading people's comments and opinions and some are just unbelievable. Some want him tried for murder, some say there is a Technology device that will beep if you leave a child or animal in the vehicle. I cant believe people that are suffering from this disorder of forgetfulness. We do not need technology to help us, maybe we just need to be slapped around a bit, what is our world coming to...where we are so preoccupied with so many other things that we forget vital members of our family? We should put ourselves in these poor children's shoes or pet's paws, imagine if you were out with a loved one, and they left you in a car and you did not have the capability to get out. Imagine as a child or an animal being with someone you trust and that person never came back. How can a child be forgotten and as far as Bandit goes Mrs. Lovejoy says "We all considered Bandit apart of our family". Here is a question i have for her, would she or Officer Lovejoy leave a member of their family in the car for 12 hours, i just cant fathom forgetting about a family member for this long, or at all for that matter. What is really sad is that there is not this much of an outrage when a child is forgotten or injured. I do not think this Officer should be tried for Murder, but he should have something done or taken from him. I admire and respect Sheriff Joe for conducting this investigation.

Is there Dew in the Desert?!

Thes are pictures of Gods creation covered in dew. What is different about the flower is, it too is covered with dew...but this flower is a wild rose that grows in the desert...
This morning I went outside enjoying the cool weather, sipping my coffee and swingin on the porch swing when i started studding our grass. The grass is ready for a cut...but the length made my observations "more better"...(as my nephew would say). the grass was covered with droplets of water and i begin to wonder..does this dry barren land produce dew or is this water left over from the rain. With more studding i found that the desert is not immune from this great resource.
Before I moved to California all I saw around me is dry dusty air and ground and I felt that way in my soul as well. As I look back on my California Adventure...The climate may have changed, but my soul did not until i moved back to the desert...interesting huh...I was intrigued this morning when i came across water in our dry land that wasn't coming down from the sky...God will always keep our dryness quenched.

The following is from Wikipedia.org

Dew is water in the form of droplets that appears on thin, exposed objects in the morning or evening. As the exposed surface cools by radiating its heat, atmospheric moisture condenses at a rate greater than that of which it can evaporate, resulting in the formation of water droplets.

When temperatures are low enough, dew takes the form of ice; this form is called frost.

Because dew is related to the temperature of surfaces, in late summer it is formed most easily on surfaces which are not warmed by conducted heat from deep ground, such as: grass, leaves, railings, car roofs, and bridges.

Culturally dew is often associated with purity and freshness. This is evidenced by the names of certain popular beverages such as Mountain Dew

Due to its dependence on radiation balance, dew amounts can reach a theoretical maximum of about 0.8 mm per night, measured values, however, rarely exceeding 0.5 mm. In most climates of the world, the annual average is too small to compete with rain. In regions with considerable dry seasons, adapted plants like lichen or pine seedlings, benefit from dew. Large-scale, natural irrigation without rainfall, such as in the Atacama Desert and Namib desert, however, is mostly attributed to fog water.

take my hand

Why don't the tears stop
Why do I hurt so much
Why have I come so close
never to feel love
You feel so far away
I look up from the pit
where I sit and I cant
see Your face. Take my
hand...lead me home.

The Darkness of Depression

When you cant Get out of bed
When you are laying in bed with no one beside you
When your body hurts ALL over
When you cant stop crying
When you cant stop crying.....

How and Why to Love God

At the church I attend, we are talking about, Discipleship: the call of Christ. This past week the topic was how and why to love God. I have to say that this was presented in a way I had never heard before and i was deeply moved and very excited for upcoming events. This next statement is not to glorify me, but to glorify Jesus, for when I woke Monday morn, even after little sleep, i felt refreshed and was rearing to go. At work I was giving compliments to everyone, talking to people who usually ignore me, and i helped someone clean up some spilled coffee. These are only small steps in discipleship..but huge steps for someone so shy and quite.

In our service Sun night we were told to take a step back and just look at all of the sins we know we have committed, no matter how great or how small, whether it is committing adultery or lusting after another. no matter what the sin..think about them all and Be Afraid, "Feel the Hounds of Hell Nipping At Your Heels." Then begin to thank God, Love God, Praise Him, your whole body should be outpouring with excitement that would make you want to dance, for you know that he has come to clean you and save you from your sins, no matter what the sin!

Some people need to see things, picture things to help them understand...let me take you there. If you have not watched the Return of the Mummy...rent it,(no matter how lame you think it is...if only for this scene its worth it.) At the end of the movie, Brenden Frasier's character and "The Mummy" endured an earthquake, the ground has split open and the two of them are literally hanging on the edge of a cliff. Beneath them is hell, its actually pretty graphic and scary..the movie does a good job displaying their version of Hell. As they hang there they both look to their Beloveds, Brendon tells his Beloved not to try and risk the crumbling ground and falling rocks to try and save him. But as she looks at her Beloved, there is no way she can let him fall in to the pit of Hell, so she endures the horrific trials and rescues Him. The Mummy then yells out to His Beloved to come rescue him, She looks at him, and you can see a question in her eyes, should she risk her life to save his....she decides not to and runs away. Now, picture yourself hanging from that cliff with the Hounds of Hell nipping at you..Is your Beloved Jesus, if so Rest in the peace that he has already Died for you and freed you from the pit of Hell. If your Beloved is not Jesus......

Thankful

This past Friday, I went to "First Friday" In downtown Phoenix with some friends, where we were able to soak up some artistic culture. Throughout the night we went in and out of several galleries and passed by several vender's selling their version of art. Being that I love to admire art, I would often get left behind, unaware by my group, while I was studding certain pieces. The Phoenix Public Library was our first stop where we went up and down the hall looking at one woman's very interesting photographs. As we circled towards the end, the line came to a stop and we were now waiting for some free food the library was offering. Standing in line I was doing one of my favorite past times, "people watching". As my eyes circled the room, I noticed standing in the corner was a piece of artwork going unnoticed by all. An old man, small man in size, wearing old shorts, standing alone. In his trembling hands he held a plate of food that he was eating as if he had not in some time. As I watched him, he watched others and simply ate of his food, but I could tell by the look on his face that this was not just food to him, this was a treasure that he savored.

First Fridays bring art and culture into our city and that night I was thankful I had a friend who forced me to get out of the house and socialize..That First Friday, this man was not only thankful for the treasure he was eating, but also for being able to come in out of the heat if only for a little while. The night began and ended at the library, when we returned to the library I did not see this man anywhere around, which made me wonder where he had gone to sleep or when he would receive his next meal. I then realized that I need to thank God for the small things that I take for granted every day, the fact even though i do not have a car of my own, i have transportation to work and back and to church as well. The fact that even though I'm living with several members of my family right now, adleast i have a cool place to put my head at night and food for my tummy. Thank you God for truly supplying all my needs. I challenge you today to be thankful for even the little things, and pray for those who are hungry, thirsty and hot both physically and spiritually.

For those who have had loved one with cancer!

http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/breast_mastectomy_pledge.html

If you know anyone who has had a mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery.

Mastectomy Bill in Congress
It takes 2 seconds to do this and is very important...please take the time and do it really quick!

Breast Cancer Hospitalization Bill - Important legislation for all women.

Please send this to everyone in your address book. If there was ever a time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those times. If you're receiving this, it's because I think you will take the 30 seconds to go to vote on this issue and send it on to others you know who will do the same.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the "drive-through mastectomy" where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site above. You need not give more than your name and zip code number.

New Drugs For Women!!

>> D A M N I T O L
> Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for
> up to 8 full hours.>

> E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
> Suppository that eliminates melancholy and
> loneliness by reminding you of
> how awful they were as teenagers and how you
> couldn't wait till they moved
> out.
>
> ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
> Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
> rendering preschoolers
> unconscious for up to two days.
>
> P E P T O B I M B O
> Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full
> cups swallowed before an
> evening out increases breast size, decreases
> intelligence, and prevents
> conception.
>
> D U M B E R O L
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
> low IQ, resulting in
> enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
>
> F L I P I T O R
> Increases life expectancy of commuters by
> controlling road rage and the urge
> to flip off other drivers.
>
> M E N I C I L L I N
> Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
> resistance to such lethal
> lines as, "You make me want to be a better person.
> "
>
> BUYAGRA
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping
> Increases potency, duration,
> and credit limit of spending spree.
>
> J A C K A S S P I R I N
> Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
> remember your birthday,
> anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet
> seat.
>
> A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
> A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
> anyone too eager to share
> their life stories with total strangers in
> elevators.
>
> N A G A M E N T
> When administered to a boyfriend or husband,
> provides the same irritation
> level as nagging him.
>
>

the reason they go home!

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operatingroom. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When canI see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make
it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

he surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the
nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's
transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She
ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a
plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to
donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody
else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I
die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his
Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone
else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after
spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's
belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult.
It was even
harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the
plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing
the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he
had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow,
cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a
folded letter. The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever
forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE
YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will
see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you
won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff
to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably
wouldn't like the same
things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you
know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma
and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it
will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to
watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his
pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to
see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him,
like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write
you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that
wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His
own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of
the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to
give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when
I needed him?'
"God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the
cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To
everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have
to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the
Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm,
sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all
gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't
stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy
to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.

Letter From Iraqi to Senator Kerry!

This was written by my husband, Aaron, who is currently deployed to
Iraq, in defense of a recent comment made by Senator John Kerry. Pass it
along, it might inspire someone else to speak up! ~ Michelle

Yesterday John Kerry said, "You know education, if you make the most of
it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be
smart, you can do well, and if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq"

So I wrote him a letter:

I am a Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps. I am currently on my
second tour in Iraq, a tour in which I volunteered for. I speak Arabic
and Spanish and I plan to tackle Persian Farsi soon. I have a Bachelors
and an Associates Degree and between deployments I am pursuing an M.B.A.
In college I was a member of several academic honor societies, including
the Golden Key Honor Society. I am not unique among the enlisted troops.
Many of my enlisted colleagues include lawyers, teachers, mechanics,
engineers, musicians and artists just to name a few. You say that your
comments were directed towards the President and not us. If we were
stupid Senator Kerry, we might have believed you.

I am not a victim of President Bush. I proudly serve him because he is
my Commander and Chief. If it was you who was President, I would serve
you just as faithfully. I serve America Senator Kerry, and I am also
providing a service to the good people of Iraq. I have not terrorized
them in the middle of the night, raped them or murdered them as you have
accused me of before. I am doing my part to help them rebuild. My role
is a simple one, but important. You see Senator Kerry, like it or not,
we came here and removed a tyrant (who terrorized Iraqis in the middle
of the night, and raped them and murdered them). And we have a
responsibility to see to it that another one doesn't take his place. The
people of Iraq are recovering from an abusive relationship with a
terrible government and it's going to take some time to help them
recover from that. We can't treat this conflict like a microwave dinner
and throw a temper tantrum because we feel like it's taking too long.

Senator Kerry, you don't have to agree with this war. You don't have to
say nice things about those of us who choose to make sacrifices for the
rights of every American rather than sit back and simply feel entitled
to it. But please Senator Kerry, if you're going to call me a stupid
murdering rapist, stick by what you say. Don't tell me that I
misunderstood or that you would never insult a veteran because you're
one too. Having been there and done that does not give you a free pass
to insult me.

My suggestion for you, Senator Kerry, is to remember that your speeches
are recorded, and broadcast to us simpletons over here. You may want to
write down what you want to say before you say it, maybe have somebody
look at it before you say it and tell you what others might hear.
Remember that we can't read your mind, if there are any
misinterpretations in what you say, it's because you didn't communicate
clearly.

Good luck to you Senator Kerry, if nothing else it's always entertaining
to watch you try and climb out of the holes that you constantly dig for
yourself.

Sincerely,

Somebody who is watching his daughter grow up in photographs so that you
can have the right to say whatever you want about him.

Stress Relivers!!

10. go to a park and swing...like you were a little kid.
9. get a coloring book...color....OUTSIDE THE LINES!!!
8. go for a nice long run...or walk...whatever you prefer.
7. take a nice long bath..with or without bubbles.
6. kickboxing....or kickball, whichever you can afford!!!
5. listen to loud music and pretend youre playing the electric guitar!! ;)
4. Go shooting...but be safe..dont kill anyone! 3. clean your house ..it works!! 2. make a nice warm batch of playdough and beat the Hell out of it!! 1. go outside and scream your lungs out!! You'll need:
Flour 3cups
Salt 1 1/2 cups
Water 3 cups
Vegetable Oil 2TB.
Cream of tartar 1TB.
Food coloring few drops or unsweetened "Kool-Aid" 1pkg.

Mix ALL of the ingredients in a large saucepan.
Cook over medium low heat, until the dough comes away
from the edges of the pan and it becomes difficult to move the spoon. Remove from heat. Cool until it can be handled.
Place on counter or wax paper knead 3-4 times.
Store in an air tight container

Some insights into life!

"Life isn't about finding yourself, Life is about creating yourself."

"It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not."

"A woman should be so deeply lost in the Lord, that a man must seek Him in order to find her!"

I once saw this bumper sticker.........

I once saw this bumper sticker.........

and it said....

"Annoy a Conservative...Live like Jesus!"

Before you lash with any comments, really think about
this comment, and exactly who Jesus socialized
with.